I've never heard of anyone trying so hard to be herself, or trying so hard to relax. Jennifer missed the whole point of both ideas!
It will become Jennifer's life lesson to learn how to let things go. She still struggles with this although she is much improved! Jennifer keeps a copy of the Serenity prayer in her bathroom. She also shuts up her brain by chanting, Let go and Let God!
Jennifer writes children's novels. I think she loves to write because she has complete control in her stories. She creates the people, the animals, the land. She controls their actions and destinies. In her books, she is God. Her characters do take on a life of their own. Their personalities dictate the fabric of the story. But, in the end, they fulfill the destinies that Jennifer wills for them. Its hard for a creator like her to take the backseat in her own life. She worries sometimes that God may not know what He's doing!
Jennifer is doing much better at being herself. She had a traumatic experience with someone who misunderstood her and judged her harshly. It bothered her for a long time, really bothered her. Finally, she hit bottom with it. She let go of trying to fit in or please others. As soon as she did this, she was finally able to relax and be herself.
She focuses now on the friends who love her, her husband and her kids--the rest can go hang out with somebody else! She's realized that true friendships uplift her while toxic friendships drain her. She knows now that she doesn't fit in with everybody, nor does she want to!!!
The wisdom to know the difference is key!
Jennifer can't explain "mod" style, never really could, still can't. She was just copying people around her. I think its a 50's or 60's vintage look. Mods at SMHS shopped at thrift stores for vintage clothes. Jennifer never "owned" this look! Casual and sporty remains, to this day, her favored attire.