I'm sorry that I have not been posting weekly. Having the kids home all summer made writing difficult--then school started and that has actually been a big distraction (along with the beautiful fall weather!).
I am going to try and get back into a rhythm. A tension is building in Jennifer's diaries. Driven by perfectionism and fueled by loneliness--she is heading down a dark path. I want to follow her there with my little flashlight of perspective, to try and understand how a teen decides to end her life. If a walk down this path with Jennifer will save just one teen from a similar fate--it will all be worth it!!
Jennifer met the other Jennifer on her bus route to high school. Even though she liked Jennifer a lot, the friendship didn't fill her void right away. Jennifer was tired of meeting new people. She was fifteen and everyone she met had only known her a month. No one "remembered" her from previous grades, had met her siblings, had run track with her. She was tired of starting from scratch. She was a girl with no history and no identity in a high school with 1700 students.
I think that it is common to find your parents annoying around the age of 15 (if not sooner). I think it's part of the process of detaching from them. It may be worse with perfectionists though because critical thoughts go hand in hand with perfectionism. Parents, don't fret too much if your kid can't stand you, as soon as they move out--they will probably like you again :)
Angela is Jennifer's step-sister. She's about six years older than Jennifer. She must have been around 21 at the time of Jennifer's visit. Angela attended Winona State University. She was pretty, confident, social and professional. Everything Jennifer was not!
For Minnesota, these are big hills!
Jennifer's trip to Winona was 150 miles each way. She went by herself which didn't bother her at all. She was used to flying alone, going to school alone and just being alone in general.
I think the loneliness played a huge role in Jennifer's deepening depression.